Whose Shake Is This!!?


A loutish and insipic presentation of scurrilous incoherent ramblings and other dull tedious shite arranged in a convenient and affable chronological format. 		     


Saturday, May 26, 2007

Junior Sells His Soul To The Devil

It's been awhile since I've allowed myself to be consumed by contempt, disdain and the mean-spiritedness that has given me 22507 moments in the sun, as though, for example, every man woman and child in, say, Watertown WI or Golden Valley MN or Birmingham MI sat down and read my bloog (it's a small world after all....) and wallowed in my hatred and disdain. SWEET!!


Onward.


Actually, this reminds me of my disdain for things that are "all the rage". That goes for all the hell of cool slang being used currently. The use the of the word SWEET!!, for example, is infinitely more annoying and far less groovy than the use of hell of cool ever was. If I ever ever EVER use the word SWEET!! in any way, shape, or form other than to refer to Sweet or to describe a piece of candy or a glass of Sauternes, please feel free to gather up the entire population of East Peoria, Illinois to hunt me down and kill me in the all the ways possible.

I'm begging the question, I suppose.

Meanwhile, I wonder why tedious, trite and banal family bloogs are more charming and palatable when written in German? Don't have an answer for that one.

Let's ask Salty, what HE thinks.... ?????????


Now when I come across a bloog like The Return Of Violence, it puts a smile on my face for a moment. It's straight up with no banal commentary or last gasp reviews. It informs one, in pictures that there are more Death Metal bands out there then some of you would care to know existed. Good! Let's bring 'em on! Let's crank up some Asesino and read (the) God's favourite paltry and insipic teenage girl blog. Sweet!!

And here they come to kill me, just as I was fixin' to turn this into the 43rd best NASCAR blog in the world....the entire population of Marshalltown, Iowa!!

Sigh...and just when I was going to, perhaps, consider posting my weekly NASCAR takes that I email to few of my buddies. Instead, I'm going to become the subject of a song by one of those Brutal Death Metal bands.

I won't say it.

Or...just when I was possibly going to make good on my promise, or wish thinking, of turning this into the 37th best Anime blog ((or was that the 37th worst...I can't remember)) dutifully reporting on all the gallantry of Mika, Manami, Mei, Mutsuki and Momoha in Manabi Straight that uplift the human spirit.



And I was, quite likely, ALSO, going to unravel the semiotic wisdom of Kagami, Tsukasa, Konata, and Miyuki in Lucky Star.




But nope. My deserved death is being celebrated in song by Dismembered Fetus. I will have to get Sasa to be a guest blooger on MY bloog. in return, I could be a guest blooger on HER wonderful blog, Heterochromia. From my blood drenched glass coffin I could do a little take on the second season of Victorian Romance Emma. Emma will break your heart again....and etc.





But...that NASCAR bloog concept doesn't want to quit. I suppose I should I give it a little tire test here. What follows will be, verbatim w/o editing, an e-mail titled Junior Sells His Soul To The Devil that I sent to my buddies, Jeff Graff, Steve Zwicke, and Squirrel on May 16th, 2007:

 Evil Ones---

I've not been supplying you with the appropriate and essential commentary for the past 2 weeks and I must apologize.

Especially since this last weekend was Darlington! I hang my head in shame for not even watching the race.....I was at the Anime Central convention in Chicago. And as at Richmond the prior week, my crew of Matt, Toni, Denny, Newman, Johnnnny, and David Freakin' Blaney brought me another 2nd place finish.

But what I wanted to tell you was that ominous things are on the horizon for Junior if he's not careful. The scary part is if you do the NASCAR Math ((I'm going to make sure it becomes an essential part of the school curriculum statewide if I'm ever elected Governer of of West Vertucky or Alabamissippi or Tennesseesiana or South Carolorida))

I'll give you a sample of NASCAR Math before showing the peril it could put Junior in:

Sterling Marlin / Robbie Gordon = Kurt Busch 14 / 7 = 2

David Ragan x Greg Biffle = Tony Raines 6 x 16 = 96

See?? It's simple and innocuous enough.

But dig THIS if you will: Dale Earnhardt x Junior = That Homo Jeff Gordon

*hrrrrr* The HORROR!!

Respectfully submitted,

Evil Schmitty

Kasey Kahne x Kyle Busch = Kyle Petty

Kenny Wallace / David Ragan = Joe Nemechek

Ken Schroeder x Kurt Busch = JUAN PABLO MONTOYA



So there you have it. If I feel like doing this anymore, well...y'all will be the first to know, along with the entire population of Xenia, Ohio.


Mood: Sullen, without a hint of Sweet
Beer: HUBER Premium
Music: "Any Sunny Day" by Belle & Sebastian

posted by Fat Nakago at 10:34 PM




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